The Day Of The Poltergeist Pigeon

y parents have a pigeon, but not just any pigeon. This one thinks he's either a dog or a person. The fact that he could be a pigeon has never crossed his mind. He sleeps inside the house at night, but is on his own mission during the day. There are a few things he likes to do:

Help in the kitchen...

Take a bath in the dog's water bowl...

Take a nap with the dog...

Bite your feet...

Help pull weeds...

Take a nap on your lap...

Get pampered...

Have friends over.

When you chase him, he doesn't fly away, he runs away. That is only the days when he is not chasing after you. He also doesn't fly in or out of the house, he walks. When someone is at the front door, he goes and welcomes the guests. He cleans the dogs eyes. He wakes you in the morning when he thinks it's time to get up. He tries to make phone calls, use the computer and make love to your foot. The list goes on. Bottom line, this is no normal pigeon.

Right, getting back to why I am actually writing this. My dad found strange marks on the glass of the sliding backdoor. Upon closer inspection he found this...

The poltergeist pigeon.

First thought of course is stupid bird. But there are other plausible scenarios as well.

1. Instead of just a stupid bird, it could be evidence of attempted forced entry by a criminal bird. Still stupid if you ask me.

2. It could be my parents' pigeon. Only problem? He never flies into the house. Explanations? Maybe he was drunk, or forced by an evil bird, or wanted to commit suicide. But there have been previous opportunities for him to commit suicide if he really wanted to.

Like jump in this pot of steaming soup...

3. The scenario that makes the most sense to me, due to the intensity of the evidence left on the door, is this. It was a poltergeist pigeon. Apparently they are vicious beings that haven't been seen by many people. Their presence can only be identified by the trails they leave behind. Thanks Kate O'Grady for informing me of these undead beings.

Which one it was I'll never know for sure, but my money is on number 3.

The Night My Sister Had Magical Powers

bout two weeks ago at my parents' house we were all watching a show on the tele one night when I noticed my sister wasn't with us anymore. I went downstairs to look for her and this is what I found...

I knew she was watching too much Charmed.

So it turned out my sister had magical powers. Witch! No, not really. I read online about levitation photography and wanted to give it a try. I decided what I wanted the photo to look like, set everything up and only needed someone to be in the photo. Here sista, sista! My beautiful sis was more that willing to help. With everything set I lit the candles, told her to sit in the middle, hold the candle, levitate herself and then the candle and then I will take the photo. She did exactly as I had instructed and I snapped. Voila!

If only. Here is how it was and can be done:

1. Go on a scavenger hunt in my parents' house and get as many pretty candles as possible. ( Don't use ugly candles. They will spoil the aesthetic value of the set. Have some style! )

2. Drape an old bedspread over a cupboard. ( Don't use a new one. It will spoil the aesthetic value of the set. Witches were poor people! )

3. Put a nice, oldish throw on the floor. ( Refer to no. 2 for pointers on what not to do. )

4. Place the candles, except one, leaving a space in the middle of the throw.

5. Place a chair in the open spot.

6. Put the camera on a tripod and place it in position.

7. Instruct sister to sit.

8. Light the candles. ( Don't do no. 8 before no. 7. Sister might knock over a candle while trying to sit. Everything will burn! )

9. Put a thick book on sister's lap. ( Make sure it can't bend. If it can, someone or something is gonna burn! )

10. Put a drinking glass upside down on the book.

11. Put the extra candle on the bottom of the upside down glass.

12. Light the candle.

13. Tell sister to pretend she is making the candle levitate with her hands. ( Not her feet. She will fall and burn! )

14. Snap the first photo.

15. Tell sister to remain in the fake levitation position.

16. Blow out the candle on the glass.

17. Remove the candle, glass and the book from sister's lap.

18. Snap the second photo.

19. Help sister of the chair without burning anything.

20. Take the chair away.

21. Snap the third photo.

22. Blow out the candles.

23. Clean up and put everything where you found it. ( If you don't, your mom will most likely get angry with you. )

Photoshop time! Open all three photos in Photoshop. Now, there are a few ways of doing this, but the fastest way is to start with photo 1. This is the one with the chair, book and glass that have to disappear. Use the clone stamp tool and photo 3 to erase the chair in photo 1. Then use clone stamp and photo 2 to erase the book and glass in photo one. I left the bottom of the glass on the bottom of the candle to make it look like a little foot piece for the candle. Now you can just tweak here and there and do some retouching if necessary.

Looking at the photo now it seems like I am the one who watched too much Charmed. I've gotten a few other ideas for levitation photos in the meantime. Once they are finished, I'll post them.

The Day Of The Millipede

ne day in April I was walking across a dirt road in the Baviaanskloof in the Eastern Cape. My eye caught sight of something moving on the ground and after squatting next to it I discovered that it was a millipede. Now you are probably thinking, Dude, seriously. A millipede? This wasn't just any millipede, it was red and black, and the black parts were not rings around it's body. It had three black, horizontal stripes. One on its back, and one on each side.

Now, I am only used to seeing black millipedes. The ones you get in your house, the ones some dogs love to eat, the ones that make your fingers smell like acid pee. So, I obviously had to take a snap. I squatted a little lower, shoved the camera right in the millipedes face, said Smile! and snapped. To my surprise the photo came out with a nice blurred effect in the fore- and background. To make it look even better I HDR'd it, and this is what the little thing looked like.

I got a little curious as to what type of millipede it was and did some Googling. I couldn't find one single photo of a millipede that looked like the one a snapped. Most of them look like this...

A few look like this...

The one above looks a lot like the one I snapped except for the black ring around its neck, which mine didn't have. I shall therefor name mine: The-red-and-black-horizontally-striped-without-the-black-ring-around-its-neck Millipede. If anyone can send me a photo of and some info about a millipede that looks like mine, please do so. Until then, it shall be known as The-red-and-black-horizontally-striped-without-the-black-ring-around-its-neck Millipede, or as The Millipede With The Long-Ass Name.