ou know those days when almost everything that can go wrong goes wrong, when you feel that Lady Luck is being a bitch? Well, this was one of those weeks for me.
After already having a crappy week, my mom called yesterday morning and told me that she found out that my internet bill, for only half a month, is already over R10,000. The exact words I used in the response to the news are not for the faint-hearted, so I will spare you that. I have uncapped internet, which obviously means that no matter how freaking much I download or upload or whatever, it is impossible to get a bill for more than the monthly subscription fee. Right? Apparently not in South Africa. Later I was just like, There is no (insert swear word here) way I am paying that. They obviously (insert swear word here)-up, THEY can (insert swear word here) pay the bill. After a long day of my parents fighting with the internet provider, they found out I wasn't the only one with an internet bill almost as big as my paycheck in South Korea. So I was right, they did screw up. If they do not have it fixed soon they better start running, fast, and far away.
Then today. My grams and I go for lunch in a shopping center every Friday. It is on the first floor, so we always take the elevator up from the ground floor. You should know that this is the same elevator that, upon opening, unleashed an old senile lady who ran to me saying Let me kiss you! Let me kiss you! a few weeks ago. My grams was like She's probably senile, and I was like Ya think?! So after having lunch today we were getting into the elevator on our way down when an old gentleman joined us asking if we could go up first. He had lost his wife in the shop and needed to take a pee-brake in the bathroom on the second floor before continuing the search for his wife. Up to the second floor, drop off the old gentleman, doors close, start to go down to the first floor when all of a sudden the elevator came to a shaking stop and we were standing there in total darkness. I was like Now isn't this magical?! So I told grams to stay calm, turned on the flashlight on my phone and looked for the panic button, pressed it and listened to the buzzer after which absolutely nothing happened. I saw an emergency number above the panic button and decided to dial it. Ring...ring...Hallo and thank you for calling our customer service helpline. Your call is important to us. Please hold for the first available service consultant to take your call. I don't know why but I wasn't surprised at all. Seconds later the elevator started to vibrate gently and just like seeing the gates of Heaven open the elevator door slowly started to open with bright light flooding the elevator.
As we stepped out of the elevator, on the first floor where we got in 5 minutes earlier, the old gentlemen was coming down the stairs after his pee on the second floor, completely oblivious of what had just happened. Before taking the stairs down to the ground floor I stopped, and You have no idea how close you just came to peeing yourself is what I wanted to say to him, but instead I said You have no idea how lucky you just were.
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